1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
