whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
