she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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