Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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