The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
