She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize