We're facebook friends in real life
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
