The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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