**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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