i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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