Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
