craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
