My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
