Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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