Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
