I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
