if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
