I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
