I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
