Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
