I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
