I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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