At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize