turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
