part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
