So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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