I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
