do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
