don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize