Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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