I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
