i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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