It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
