ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
