know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
