Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
