Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
