i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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