I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
His nipple licking is glorious
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