Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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