oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
