i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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