You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
