I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
