He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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