got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
