You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I skipped work to stalk him.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize