i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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