I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
