So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize