how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The air was thick with penises
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
