Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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