ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
