I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
