It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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