Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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