Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
zippers are such a cool invention
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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