P.S. I can't hear my feet
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
