Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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