if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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