but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
